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Exposure to TTC (Trying to Conceive)

I have worked in a fertility clinic for almost 4 years now and because I’m in charge of administration, at first I really didn’t get involved with the affairs of the clinical team so much.  Guess my background in medicine and the fact that I had to perform a lot of presentations made me get involved in the clinical affairs aspect and then start to really get to know the patients. I tired to empathize and put myself in our ‘patients’ shoes but truth is you can only imagine.

Towards the end of last year, I made up my mind that I was ready to have baby number 3. It took a while because I’m over extended as it is but I figured there are women who have no help, have kids, are working while going to school, and get pregnant. They are still alive so, I will not die.

I already have 2 girls hence, decided that I was going to be very scientific with the next baby. I want a boy and since pre-implantation genetic screening for me was out, I decided to try to predict ovulation as close as I could and use the Chinese calendar to figure out which month conceiving a boy would be optimal.

So, I enlisted the help of my work colleagues and we tracked my follicular growth until we felt this was as close as we could get. In fact for good measure, I had to wait till I thought ovulation had already taken place before I could do the deed. I kept all this from my husband so the poor guy wouldn’t be freaked out.

Anyways, after about a week I really didn’t have any symptoms. I  found that strange because for both of my kids, I knew within a week that I was pregnant. That bothered me. I waited and waited. Still nothing. Then after 10 days of my so called ovulation I did a urine test because I had read it can be positive. And it wasn’t!!!! I couldn’t believe it. You see, I had never had to try more than once to conceive my other two kids. I started to panic. Maybe I had left baby number 3 too long. I was much younger when I conceived my girls and now maybe it’s not so simple anymore.

Still in denial I went for a blood test the next day. Notice I still hadn’t missed my period but I was already too anxious to wait. Still negative! I can’t really describe how I felt after that. It was like my ears were ringing, my heart was beating fast, I couldn’t catch my breath. I was at work but I couldn’t even see my computer screen anymore. And then it hit me! Some women have felt like this every month for 5 years! Every single month they get disappointed this way. And they keep trying. They are the real MVPs!

I can still never fully understand what couples trying to conceive feel but if it felt anything like that, I do not want any couple to feel that way again. Well, at that point I told myself, no need to be angry, you will try again. And I felt better. So I planned that as soon as I saw my period, I would start the tracking again. I’m pretty regular and when I didn’t see my period 2 days after I expected it, I was concerned but too scared to do another test and risk disappointment.

I finally summoned up courage to do it again and voila I’m pregnant. I’m currently 7 weeks and having the nausea to end all nauseas and most of the time I’m too tired to even look presentable but this is what I wanted right? As to whether, it’s a boy or not, I guess I will know in about 11 weeks or so.

I don’t think I will ever fully understand what it’s like but I am willing to listen, to offer support and to pray. I know God hears and answers.

Baby dust!!!

 

Dr Fab

Dr Fab is a trained medical doctor who has decided to make a career of managing other doctors. She has two daughters, speaks English fluently, Igbo courageously and likes to think she can still speak French. She loves to read, dance and at some point thought she could design a clothing line! Her husband has to say she’s an amazing cook or risk starvation…

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